I've got a confession to make. Although I'm a life long automotive enthusiast, a driving freak and a woman who binge watches Bond movies for the car chases alone, I've never seen a "Fast & Furious" movie. EVER. Until now.
The main reason for my avoidance is because I'm a terrible car snob and art house cinephile. I don't do sequels, and I'm sure as hell not digging Blockbuster franchises. But "F8" just converted yours truly to the most reluctant fan girl ever. It wasn't just the cars — although the Lambos, vintage Vettes and a matte black GTX didn't hurt my eyes. It wasn't even my favorite BMW driver, Jason Statham, or the glistening glow off Dwayne Johnson's endless muscles. It was the script. While predictable, sensational and formulaic, that doesn't mean it wasn't completely awesome.
Here are eight "The Fate of the Furious" quotes to prove it's the movie you need to see this weekend:
1. “The only thing that matters is who is behind the wheel.”
What happens after this line is said is what makes it so memorable. Said to a rival driver by Vin Diesel's character Dominic Toretto on the sun-soaked streets of Havana, Dom completes the final stretch of a drag race driving backwards. With a cherry Impala on the line, you'd probably do the same.
2. “I choose to make my own fate.”
Considering the movie title is "Fate Of The Furious" this line's kinda got to be in there. Plus, Dom says this to Cipher, played by Charlize Theron — the perfect female villain: evil, edgy, beautiful and, of course, a complete psychopath.
3. “What boy band bus did you fall off of?”
Dwayne Johnson's character Luke Hobbs reacts to another new cast member — Scott Eastwood as Eric Reisner — with this line, and it's perfect. Not only is it the exact description of how irritatingly handsome this Hollywood brat looks, but it's also exactly what the rest of us were thinking. Nailed it!
4. “I’m gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em."
In a fight, a good threat can go a long way to intimidate your opponent. If it's The Rock yelling this at you in prison, you're probably going to get extra nervous. In this case, he says the line to Deckard Shaw played by Jason Statham, who, of course, isn't scared.
5. “Make it rain.”
You probably associate this expression your favorite GIF, but after watching "F8," that will change. You'll remember it as the time Cipher ordered her underling to make cars fall onto the streets of NYC from the sky. And, of course, it's magical and ridiculous all at once.
6. “что это такой?”
Who says the "Fast & Furious" franchise isn't educational? This line, which translates into "What is that?" is the line the Russian diplomats yell out when they discover that Dom is on their stretch limo ready to steal their briefcase.
7. “Take any vehicle you want.”
Sounds great, right? These words are even better when the vehicles in question are in "The Toy Store" after being seized by Feds during drug raids, so they're the pimpest on the planet.
8. “#11 my ass!”
Tyrese Gibson's character Roman Pearce throws a fit when he learns that, unlike his co-stars, he didn't make Interpol’s Top 10 Most Wanted List. What he then does to make up for his perceived weakness is fantastic, fabulous and... furious.
So I suggest you go see it. Go even if your daily driver is a Prius and you have no interest in street racing, muscle cars or hot babes in short skirts. Go even if it's your first time. Because by the time this movie is finished with you, you'll be a fan too.