When it comes to fast SUVs, there's the 2019 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk, and then there's everything else. With 707hp and 645 lb-ft of torque on tap from a supercharged 6.2L V8, the Trackhawk's phenomenal all-wheel drive grip allows it to sprint to 60 mph in a mere 3.5 seconds, with the quarter mile disappearing in a similarly-blistering 11.6 seconds.
That's quick enough to stomp anything from BMW, Porsche or Mercedes-AMG, with only the Tesla Model X P100 D's instant-on electric torque showing the Jeep its tail lights off the line. It got us thinking: With that much thrust available, there must be a long list of once-cherished icons of automotive performance who could now be easily dusted by the supercharged Jeep's idiot-proof launch control system. What a blow to the ego to be shut down in your six-figure sports car by a sport-utility vehicle that can tow a boat trailer or haul a load of dirt home from Home Depot.
Is what you have sitting your garage at risk of real-world embarrassment in the face of overwhelming SUV firepower? These five exotics don't stand a chance against the Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk in the stoplight Olympics.
1. Ferrari F40
For many, the Ferrari F40 was the last true analog supercar to have worn Maranello's famed prancing horse logo. Just over 1,300 of these twin-turbocharged V8-powered monsters were built as the '80s transitioned into the '90s, their wide, wedge shape defining the image of high performance for an entire generation of tifosi.
At the time, the mid-engine F40's 471hp and 425 lb-ft were a revelation, and propelled it to 60 mph from a standing start in just 4.1 seconds—or more than a half-second slower than the Trackhawk, which weighs a full ton more than its Italian cousin. We can only imagine the shame an F40 driver must feel while rowing through the gated six-speed gearbox in pursuit of the portly family hauler, tempered perhaps only by the knowledge that the Jeep's 180 mph top speed is 21 mph slower than the Ferrari's terminal velocity. A hollow victory, at best.
2. Lamborghini Gallardo LP550-2
What about a newer pasta-rocket? Do they have a chance against the soccer team-friendly Trackhawk? Well… not quite. Sure, there are modern supercars that will eat the Jeep for lunch, but you'd be foolish to think that just because you paid big bucks for a more recent Italian exotic that you'll be able to scoot quick enough to get out of the snarling Jeep's way.
Take, for example, the Lamborghini Gallardo LP550-2. Pushing out 543hp and 397 lb-ft of torque from a 5.2L V10, the bull-faced Batmobile leaps to 60 mph in 3.9 seconds—quick enough to take out the much-older Ferrari F40, but not nearly enough to snap the neck on a Trackhawk driver.
Should you have gone with the all-wheel drive version of the Gallardo in the hopes its quicker launch would have saved you from the crushing wave of despair that inevitably follows defeat at the hands of a vehicle with more cup holders than your car has cylinders? It's a little late for that now, isn't it?
3. Dodge Viper
The Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk's cousin, the Dodge Viper, is another unfortunate victim to the marriage of ultimate power plus incredible mechanical grip that defines the SUV's standing start advantage. The early Viper's 400hp, 8.0L V10 gave it a 4.2-second 0 60 mph time, and two generations later the larger 8.4L ten-cylinder in the 2008 SRT-10 Viper was good for another 200hp and 0.8 seconds less in the straight-line shootout.
Still, this isn't enough to walk away with the pink slip to a Trackhawk. You'll have to be rocking a 2013-or-later Viper before rolling the dice in Dodge's supercar comes up anything but snake-eyes alongside the Jeep.
4. Jaguar XJ220
Back in the early 1990s, the automotive world was abuzz about Jaguar's upcoming supercar. Having been hyped as a 12-cylinder world beater, the eventual twin-turbo, all-wheel drive XJ220 teardrop that emerged from the British brand's racing partners at TWR was still an incredible performer, what with its nearly 550hp and excellent handling characteristics. The car set a production car record at the Nurburgring and quickly became ensconced in exotic car lore as one of the rarest and most desirable Jaguars.
Only 282 XJ220s were ever produced, and each and every one of them is inferior in a drag race against the Grand Cherokee Trackhawk. The Jaguar's nearly half a million pound price tag in 1992 is many multiples of the Jeep's more modest $86,500 ask, a fact that those lucky few XJ220 owners will likely ponder as they see the SUV just barely beat out their 3.6 second 0-60 surge.
5. Porsche 911 Turbo S
The 996-generation Porsche 911 Turbo was a pocket supercar that can still burn down the track today, especially if equipped with the X50 package (standard on the 2005-only 911 Turbo S), which fed the flat six engine by way of larger turbos and intercoolers. This provided as much as 444hp for Porschephiles, and resulted in an extremely quick, sub-four second 0-60 time.
Extremely quick, that is, unless you're a Trackhawk owner looking to munch on some Stuttgart-sourced metal. A third of a second slower than the Jeep, the 911 Turbo S and X50-equipped Turbo perfectly demonstrate the almost unbridgeable performance gap that's somehow opened up between near-classic sports cars and cargo-hauling people movers.